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Heck Above Deck: Original Cast Recording

by Know No Stranger

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Stars Afar! 01:41
We set sail for adventure Or close facsimile!
 The finest lies
 our gold can buy It’s Stars Afar for me! For thrills, excitement, peril No finer place to be! Don’t worry, guys,
 it’s supervised! 
It’s Stars Afar for me! Creature comforts go so far, but we want thrills What’s so wrong with wanting them to come with frills? Let’s take it to the limit Of taste, of decency! Face storm and squall, then gala ball! It’s Stars Afar for me! We scrub and cook and grovel They act like they don’t see The nasty fact, it’s all an act Makes this cruise suck for me Their manufactured exploits Make us the exploitees They think they pay to live the way We do, but hell is free Hands on deck and hand-in-foot, they bark and beck If you’re so keen on roughing it, you scrub the deck Our fearless captain beckons Oh, what could his news be? He’ll strategize! Here come more lies! It’s Stars Afar for me!
And now the man whose fearless gumption leaves us all in awe A noble pilot, our assumption: many wars he saw But either way the pins and medals strewn across his chest His perfect hair and upright air have rendered us impressed No finer fellow we’d request to lead us through the stars His barrel chest, his suits so pressed, he plays a mean guitar We’d follow blindly anywhere, with sword, or pissul-drun Stand up straight and flat your palm, He's here: It's Widdleton!
We’ll bring the beast to slaughter For fame, for infamy Do as I say, live one more day. Now, Apogee: to me! That’s showmanship, I tell you. What’s next? Can’t wait to see The pics we’ll take, thank God it’s fake!
 It’s Stars Afar for me!
I Fold 03:23
When I was just a boy — or, more of a boy I dreamt I’d be a hero: a real McCoy I’d jet from star to star and serve the hoi polloi A hero bold. With tales to be told And now — look at me! I fold! I hand out towels and sheets To cruise guests a century old I fold! They promised a promotion, and maybe a raise More responsibilities, but still no sick days One day I’ll head up whites, but for now it’s the grays That’s fine! No reason to whine! I’m doing great! I give! I give! I give nice folks fresh linens and a smile, oh what a way to live! I was athletic and smart. I had a penchant for art And my hopes were higher than high! These towels are two minutes late! While you’re here, take my plate! I rolled over — and up — to the sky! Garrplunk yubble dee blump! Thanks! You, too, Missus Glump! What’s your name? I don’t see a tag! You aren’t getting a tip! And don’t give us no lip! Oh, how fun, to wave the white flag! One day, I packed it in Gave a shrug, got a grin Herter ern gug reppito gunkle What’d that guy say to me? Who, him? Yes, you dummy! Said you look a bit like his uncle What? Uncle! What? Uncle! WHAT? UNCLE! I’m doing all right, I throw in the towel Give up the gun — if there’s one — then out I bow Not all achieve their dreams — but no harm, no foul As long as one can still have fun I cave! I cave! When no one’s looking, I pile linens, shape a cool enclave! I bend over barrels, get the job done Huh! My sole is sold But now, look at me, I fold!
It just goes to show You get what you’re owed If you do as told! I fold! The guests may come and go (Move it, kid!) But this life is all I know I’m settled down. Just me 'n Cass And dirty towels are all that last And when this cruiser’s nothing but a rusted pile of bolts and nuts Well, maybe then I’ll start anew and do more things I want to do But 'til that day - I fold!
We space-drifters often tell stories Of aliens, goblins, and ghosts And legends have ways of dispersing Though some are space bunk - I’d say most But the guests on this boat remain clueless And so, it seems now, do you too Well, the scariest monster to dwell in the stars Is quite real. And she’s here. Ohh, mon dieu! The widow to a thousand grooms She murdered as they begged They say that she came from the womb With hook and peggy-leg The terror of the void of space A miracle you saw her face And lived to tale the tell The pirate straight from hell Big Bad Bhatt! The war-folk tribes of Albaway Who mine the spice melande Fell to her sword, and to this day No meal of hers goes bland She slew the sainted star of Blett Ransacked the planet Gurn Visits pet and candy stores Just to watch ‘em burn! A nightmare in a captain’s frock! Reep reep reep reep, wok wok wok! She seemed all right to me Could she really be? Big Bad Bhatt!
Ol’ Blue Eyes and Davis, Jr You’d not ask to babysit We’re trying to keep in tune, you’re Well, frankly, you’re wrecking it The sea of stars outside can’t match The blinding flare of our flair We got pizazz and panache, ‘natch Just keep the child over there No place for a kid Here in the galley, this is sin valley She’ll flip her lid There’s so much pressure to perform We need the space to break the norm Geniuses need space to smooch and suck face No place for a kid!
We work hard and we play much harder The evenings, they get real wild And after hours, out come play cards No worse place to bring a child Two drinks in and two hands down, I I take off me undershirt And sorry if bad this sound My bare bottom cause eyes to hurt No place for a kid! We needs the freedom To cash chips and eat ‘em Our bodies unhid! Downstair’s a sticky sweaty mess When the shift ends, we must undress It’s eighteen and plus here We drink and we cuss here No place for a kid!
For little ones, eatin' just right Build character, strengthen bone Ingredient budget's so tight Can't pay for it on my own I know what you're thinkin' — quit, nyaw! These ain't scraps from yesterday Trash don't go in jambalaya You can't prove it anyway No place for a kid! A well-balanced diet Well, that would deny it Not sayin' I did So maybe once or twice I cheat Reuse the bites folks didn't eat Not like it's a crime now To save money, time, now No place for a kid! Take dogs and cats, oil and water Toothpaste and orange - these don’t mix Put children up in front of pirates Them kiddies get eighty-sixed A babby girl about as safe here As beignets on Fat Tuesday Keep her far from that buccaneer Or her head gon be on display No place for a kid! The first chance you see, boy Set that thing free, boy Get yourself rid! I bet her folks are worried sick. And if you’re not, you’re awfully thick Keep the girl hidden, avoid fate unbidden This place ain’t for kids!
No place for a kid When mommy’s negoshy— --atin’ then, oh She wants you off-grid 'Cause things can happen mid-parley You'll stay safe if you stay away I’ll always return, son When meetings adjourn, hon No place for a kid
There’s life in the old girl yet! There’s patches of fur missing, but count them ribs and see Blind and arthritic but she’ll outlive you and me! Her milk is more like dust now! Her age I plum forget! But there’s life in the old girl yet! Ignore the lolling tongue among the wheezin' and the stink Only got one lung left and her blinking's outta sync Hear that knocking? That's the reaper! But I'll keep her and his debt! Yes there's life in the old girl- Fight in the old girl- Bite in the old girl- Might in the old girl- Life in the old girl yet!
That Goat 03:12
Far beyond these mildewed halls and walls of asbestos In galaxies untold I basked in glory Trained fearsome crews, won treasures fair, and conquered every foe Every culture cowered at my story In all my years, I’ve never been so low to acquiesce I’ve feasted and I’ve dined, my prize beside me But here I sink and slum like swine as I had never guessed The only thing I want in life — denied me But I will rise My dreams realized That goat! That morsel I desire I’m gonna eat that goat Roast it, spit on fire! That goat! I’m gonna lick the bones clean For the freedom to be me I’ve made up my mind I’m gonna eat that goat! And I will rise My dreams realized That goat! I’m gonna eat that goat Reclaim my pride Don’t care if it’s basted or fried! And that goat! I’m gonna eat that goat When hunger calls For protein, for honor, for all! That goat! I’m gonna eat that goat.
I didn’t know what I was getting into But I threw caution to the wind right when I met you I found you all alone, you looked so helpless You said, “I need a partner,” and I said, “whelp, let’s” It’s all so very strange, How quickly things can change! And you changed me! I’ve changed you! There’s nothing that either one of us can do Oh, so helpless! That goat! Hardly skin and bones Tasty still, that goat! I want her for my own. I can’t ever be the same And it’s only you to blame There’s life in this old girl yet! Not giving up so easy, there’s still a beast to slay! And you changed me! I'm changed now! Kinda wanna change back but I don't know how Oh, forgive me! This broad is unstoppable The Slugger can’t elude me, keep holding me at bay! I fold! I fold! I surrender, just don’t eat me! First Cap, now you? That’s cold My bloodlust ain’t relenting Upon revenge, I’m set! Yes, there’s life in this old girl yet! But change, it’s for the best, chere Take you and leave the rest, there This calls for a fresh pair! Life in the old girl yet! That goat! I fold! Fold! Fold!
We set sail for vacation Might never get to leave A pirate’s life, authentic-like It’s Stars Afar for me So check in with the office Say, “go on without me!” We’re outlaws now, to Bhatt we bow It’s Stars Afar… for me
It’s just allergic reaction or anaphylactic shock We’ll march you to the Captain, have a rational talk A big misunderstanding. Things will be okay We’ll just tell her what happened I know what she’ll say; she’ll say: Oh, thank you Heck, you clever kid For bringing me The Slugger I’m your best friend For what you did I’m norm’ly not a hugger! No problem, Cap, why, that’s my job! I’m glad you’re seein’ reason Now hold it down so I can lob Its head off or face treason! Is that what Cap would do? Gosh, I sure hope not If that’s what cap would do, I’ll give this more thought A little girl? Alone and lost? Why, son, that’s such a shame You’re pretty much a hero, hoss Who is she? What’s her name? I knew you’d treat her good! Of course, I’ll hook her up By which I mean I’ll take her hand And pirate-ize the pup! There’s no place for a kid on The Apogee No space in my heart for mercy But the blame lies on you who brought her to me When the kid walks the space-plank, sir, you see? Is that what cap would do? Probably, I guess If that’s what cap would do Maybe don’t confess? Mom! Help me! Mommy, please, tell me now What would you do? What do you think? Should I turn my friend in? Lie to my boss? Or some other third thing? It’s up to me to decide Who you are, or could be And you’re not a monster Why, you’re only Ani I know what Cap would do Fight you nail and tooth So here’s what I will do: Hide you and the truth
Get Creative 02:19
When y'all get lemons outta life And make y'all's lemonade Life’ll prob’ly drink it up And brother, you been played But if y'all's cup is empty And y'all's kitchen is, too Things is never hopeless Here’s whatcha’ gotta do: Get creative! Don’t look at things the same Where you might see old potpourri I see edda-mame! Get creative! Don’t a-fear to innovate A waste what’s in that waste-ey bin Let’s put it on that plate! The best kinda recipe Is one that’s for disaster Necessity, the momma of Invention – she’s a master! Get creative! When some goon is on your tail Don’t worry ‘bout him finding out Just warp his sense of smell! Get creative! Work around the obstacles An hour-old martini Freezes up just fine for popsicles Get creative! Fix it quick and stop the gap A little innovation And old Luzz won’t yap!
I didn’t know what I was getting into But I threw caution to the wind right when I met you! I found you all alone, you looked so helpless You said, “I need a partner,” and I said, “whelp, let’s” It’s all so very strange, How quickly things can change! And you changed me! I’ve changed you! There’s nothing that either one of us can do Oh, so helpless! I can’t ever be the same! And it’s only you to blame And you changed me! I’m changed now-
I know what you’re thinkin’ This must be quite a shock Let’s all sit down together, have a rational talk A big misunderstanding. Things will be okay Let me tell you what happened before you have your say! Don't say... This whole time — under my nose You’ve kept me from The Slugger? (Not under, no More to the side) Well, now you’ll pay for what you did You sneaky little bugger (Take me, not her It’s me who lied) Relinquish me my just reward And hand the girl to me, boy (You know I can’t She’s just a kid) A classic impasse; draw your sword And know this brings me no joy So this is what you do To one you’d call a friend? (I’m still your friend!) Well, I play dirty, too And now we reach the end I thought you understood Saw me as I am! (I see you now, but look at me!) Thought I’d found an ally at last But you’re just like the rest It’s all been a sham (It’s not too late - don't hurt Ani!) Now hold still, give her here. I'll make this fast!
Cap, what have you done? Were you there that day? When mom’s ship went down Did you clear the way?
Aw, Heck 03:22
I hear sometimes you gotta take Some bad to get the good “Sometimes” is underselling it It’s more like “always,” dude Bad things can happen and they do No reason, most the time But one bad thing, it gave me you There’s beauty in the grime Brush your shoulders, shrug ‘em and say, “aw, heck!” Save today’s problems for day-after-next You can waylay your woes with a toothy smile Thumb your nose at all those who say you’re in denial The world is your oyster, and you’re just a bitty speck! Life’s tough, but aw, heck My ship’s a clunker, it’s falling apart. Aw, heck My life, reputation and vessel are wrecked But on this side of torture, think I found a friend At least I’m not alone, though the suff’ring won't end We’ll keep our chins up – avoid the rats below deck! It’s rough, but aw, heck We orbit, we spiral slowly Toward a pit of most dim despair But together we’re not so lowly! And who knows what we’ll find down there? The universe owes us nothing Especially not an excuse Life’s nothing if it’s not a tough thing! We won’t fold. We won’t cave. We refuse! We’re out of food. Nearly out of air Aw, heck! Low fuel. Is that scurvy right there on your neck? Aw, heck! We’ll never give in to our grief or malaise If you squint just right, a row of F’s look like straight A’s Hell may be below us But it’s heck above deck! When the thunderstorm blots out the sun Hell may be below us But it’s heck above deck! Just embrace it and start having fun! Hell may be below us But it’s heck above deck! Aw, heck!
They told me it'd be easy A month of two or three Negotiate a great pay rate said Stars Afar to me That's it, I quit On you, I spit Want stars so far from me


In November 2016, Know No Stranger, with the Indianapolis Museum of Art, premiered Heck Above Deck in Indianapolis, Indiana!

Here's the original cast recording for your listening and reminiscing pleasure!


released February 3, 2017

Lyrics by Ryan Felton
Music by Brandon Schaaf, Rachel Leigh, and Matt Helfrich
Arrangements & orchestration by Alan Goffinski
Recorded and mixed by Rachel Leigh
Mastered by Adam Wisz


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