When I was just a boy — or, more of a boy
I dreamt I’d be a hero: a real McCoy
I’d jet from star to star and serve the hoi polloi
A hero bold. With tales to be told
And now — look at me! I fold!

I hand out towels and sheets
To cruise guests a century old
I fold!

They promised a promotion, and maybe a raise
More responsibilities, but still no sick days
One day I’ll head up whites, but for now it’s the grays
That’s fine! No reason to whine!
I’m doing great! I give! I give!
I give nice folks fresh linens and a smile, oh what a way to live!

I was athletic and smart. I had a penchant for art
And my hopes were higher than high!
These towels are two minutes late!
While you’re here, take my plate!
I rolled over — and up — to the sky!

Garrplunk yubble dee blump!
Thanks! You, too, Missus Glump!
What’s your name? I don’t see a tag!
You aren’t getting a tip!
And don’t give us no lip!
Oh, how fun, to wave the white flag!

One day, I packed it in
Gave a shrug, got a grin
Herter ern gug reppito gunkle
What’d that guy say to me?
Who, him?
Yes, you dummy!
Said you look a bit like his uncle
What?
Uncle!
What?
Uncle!
WHAT?
UNCLE!

I’m doing all right, I throw in the towel
Give up the gun — if there’s one — then out I bow
Not all achieve their dreams — but no harm, no foul
As long as one can still have fun

I cave! I cave!
When no one’s looking, I pile linens, shape a cool enclave!

I bend over barrels, get the job done
Huh! My sole is sold
But now, look at me, I fold!